


All Hands on Deck

by Anonymous



Category: Succession (TV 2018)
Genre: Dirty Talk, Drunk Sex, Episode: s2e10 This Is Not for Tears, Masturbation, Multi, Sad Boy Kendall Roy, Sibling Incest, Threesome - F/M/M, Under-negotiated Kink
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-15
Updated: 2019-10-26
Packaged: 2020-12-16 19:20:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21041426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Shiv's pissed at Tom, Naomi's pissed at Kendall, and Roman's traumatized. If this were a normal family, it would be a great time for the siblings to all lean on one another.But it's the Roy family, so things get pretty fucked up pretty quickly.





	1. get your towels ready, it's about to go down

**Author's Note:**

  * For [angelsaves](https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsaves/gifts).

> All titles are from "I'm on a Boat" by the Lonely Island, because really, what else would they be from.
> 
> New chapters will be added sporadically until I'm done.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman lounged back on the couch. "Welp, guess no one's getting laid tonight."

Kendall couldn't deal with being in the room while Naomi packed. He took his Macallan out onto the deck for a bit, but it was breezy and dark, and he was on edge. He went back in and paced up and down the corridor outside the staterooms, catching snatches of conversation—Karl and Frank bullshitting about something, Shiv and Tom having one of their deadly polite arguments that reminded him so much of Logan and Caroline. His hands twitched at the thought.

He and Naomi didn't fight like that. She really listened when he poured out his troubles. With her gone, who was going to even pretend to care about him for a little while?

He paused outside Roman's room. It was quiet. Roman had left Tabitha at home—smarter than Kendall for once, reading the room better.

Maybe Roman would want company too.

Kendall tossed back the last of the ice-watered Scotch and knocked.

* * *

Shiv shut the door much more gently than she wanted to and then leaned against the wall, trying to slow her breathing. Fucking Tom, fucking, fucking Tom, ruining the one good thing that was going to happen on this nightmare cruise to nowhere. She'd put so much time into finding this girl and lining everything up—time she didn't exactly have to spare—and he wasn't in the _mood_? How many times had she gone along with sex when she wasn't in the mood? Fuck him and his delicate fucking sensibilities.

She wanted to punch something. Or someone.

A minute later she was knocking on Roman's door.

* * *

Kendall had just refilled his glass with two fingers of Roman's Scotch (not as good as the Macallan, but good enough) and settled into an armchair when Roman let Shiv in. She looked mad enough to bite someone. She drew up short when she saw Kendall. "Oh, excuse me," she said in her haughtiest frozen bitch voice. "I didn't realize I was interrupting."

"I didn't realize I was having a fucking party," Roman said, "but since I apparently am, come in and have a drink."

She hesitated, looking at Kendall again, and then stalked across the room to the bar. "What brings you here?" she asked, examining the bottles. "Rome, do you have any gin?"

"Just vodka, I think."

"Ugh. But better than nothing." She sniffed it and then splashed some into a tumbler.

"Dad's making me send Naomi home," Kendall said, mostly into his glass.

"Of course he is," Roman said pityingly. "Why'd you even bring her into this bear pit?"

"She's his emotional support animal," Shiv said, pacing around the room.

Kendall raised an eyebrow at her. "What's up your ass?"

"I went to all the trouble of setting up a threesome for Tom and now he's 'not feeling naughty.' " She swigged her vodka and grimaced.

Roman lounged back on the couch. "Welp, guess no one's getting laid tonight."

"You set it up for Tom?" Kendall asked. "Or for you?"

"Well _yes_, obviously also for me."

"Come on, Shiv, what's this 'also' shit?" Roman said. "Admit it, you just want to fuck around."

"I would too if I were married to Tom," Kendall said.

"Oh, same, same, absolutely," Roman said. His voice had that edge he always got when he was talking about sex, like he was trying to sell you on believing he got laid. If Kendall hadn't seen Tabitha giving Roman a blowjob at Tom's bachelor party, he would have sworn his brother was gay or a virgin, or maybe both.

"Fuck you," Shiv snarled.

"So wait," Roman interjected before Shiv could start defending her ankle weight of a husband, "who was the threesome with? Karl? Frank?"

"Gerri?" Kendall offered, laughing.

"Gerri's sexless," Roman said loftily. "It would be like drilling a hole in an encyclopedia and sticking your dick in: technically possible, but not a good idea." He shuddered. "Think of the paper cuts."

"Of course it's not Gerri," Shiv said, rolling her eyes. She finally sat down on the edge of a chair, still restless, running her finger around the rim of her empty glass.

"So it is Frank," Roman leered. "Tom couldn't get hard for the Bard?"

Kendall nearly choked on his whisky.

"You're so gross, Rome." Shiv jumped up again and went back to the bar. "No, not Frank, not Karl, for God's sake. Just some girl on the boat."

"One of the _staff_?" Kendall said incredulously. "You had her sign an NDA, right?"

"Of course I did, I'm not _new_." 

"No, no, no, no," Roman said. "There's no way Shiv would lower herself so far. And anyway, Tom's obviously not the threesome type." He leaned his head back against the arm of the couch. "This is clearly an elaborate cover story because you think I can't handle the sordid truth."

"Oh yeah?" Shiv perched on her chair again. "And what sordid truth is that?"

Roman swung his feet up onto the other arm of the couch, crossed them at the ankle, and closed his eyes as though he were out on one of the deck chairs. "You were supposed to have a threesome with Kendall and Naomi, but Dad spiked it because he ruins everything he touches, and now the two of you are here to proposition me."


	2. this ain't Seaworld, this is real as it gets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "You didn't want to talk about feelings," Roman said. "This is what our family does instead, right? We fuck with each other. Are you going to keep calling me names or not?"

There was a long silence. Kendall and Shiv stared at each other, then at their brother.

"What the fuck, Rome," Shiv said finally.

"I mean, I'm the obvious choice, after Naomi I am clearly the sexiest person on this boat—"

"Roman," Kendall said, "Rome, dude, stop, what the hell."

"Lost your nerve, eh," Roman said. "Well, nothing new there, I guess."

Kendall stood, almost without meaning to, and put his glass down hard on the end table. "Fuck off."

Roman finally opened his eyes and looked directly at Kendall. There was a depth to his stare that hadn't been there before Turkey. "What are you, gonna hit me in the mouth? Point a gun at my head? Fuck you. I'm not scared of you anymore, Ken." He closed his eyes again. "But if it gets your rocks off, sure, come punch me like you want to punch Dad, and then suck my dick like you suck his. I've had kinkier sex than that."

"You're disgusting," Shiv said, a hard edge to her voice. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"Oh yeah," Roman said, his hand going to his crotch. "Tell me what a dirty boy I am."

"I can't fucking believe you—oh my God," Shiv said as Roman started rubbing his dick through his pants. "You're really—you are a piece of work. You're a piece of shit!" She leaned forward in her chair, staring at him. "You really are getting off on this, aren't you? That's your thing, is someone calling you names?"

Roman shrugged one shoulder. "It's not as hot when you do it as when Gerri does it," he said. "But it's pretty good, keep going."

"You're—that's fucking revolting," Shiv said. She looked genuinely aghast. "Why would you put that image in my head?"

"You didn't want to talk about feelings," Roman said. "This is what our family does instead, right? We fuck with each other. Are you going to keep calling me names or not?"

Shiv sat back, shaking her head. "No," she said, "no way. Jesus Christ, Roman."

Kendall realized he was still standing, still staring at Roman's hand. He took a step forward. "If she won't, I will," he said.

"Ken, no, come on—" Shiv began.

"No, shut up," he said, not looking at her. "When am I going to get another chance to tell Roman just what I think of him, and he has to take it?"

Roman looked up at him. There was a hint of vulnerability in his face now. "That's right," he said, his voice low. "Go on. Fuck me up, bro."

"I think you're weak," Kendall said steadily. "I think you're pathetic. I think you're a terrified little boy. You never grew up, did you, Roman? You still want to hide under Mom's skirt."

Roman tore open his pants and pulled his dick out through the front slit of his boxers, stroking himself as he covered his eyes with his other hand.

"Dad gives you the slightest bit of power and you think you're the biggest fucking deal. You can't even see he's just setting you up, like he set me up, like he set Shiv up, like he set up everyone on this boat. He'll give you enough rope to hang yourself and you'll jerk off while you strangle."

Roman was panting, jacking himself like there was no tomorrow. Out of the corner of Kendall's eye, he could see Shiv leaning forward again, watching them both intently. He didn't know whether she was getting off on it or storing up ammo to use against them later. Maybe both. He didn't care.

"You spineless fucking loser. You couldn't even look him in the eye and make the no confidence vote you'd promised me, the one you knew was right. You fucked me over, Rome." Kendall would not allow his voice to break, would not allow his grief to overwhelm his rage. "You'll go whichever way the wind blows. You're useless. Too stupid to see what's right in front of your face."

"Yeah," Roman gasped, "yeah—"

"You're garbage," Kendall told him. "You're the maggot in the garbage, eating Dad's shit and calling it haute cuisine. And that's all you'll ever, ever be."

Roman squirmed, right on the brink of orgasm. Kendall fell silent and watched him wriggle like a worm on a hook. He knew one more word would push Roman over, but it was so much more satisfying to leave him wanting.

Then Shiv stood up, strode over to the couch, and ground the heel of her bare foot into Roman's balls.

Roman gave a shrill cry and jackknifed up, coming all over his hand. "Fucking, fucking fuck," he gasped, "fuck, you fucking bitch—"

Kendall was suddenly and overwhelmingly hard. He shifted uncomfortably.

"God, I've wanted to do that to someone for _years_," Shiv said. She stepped back and dusted off her hands. "It was even better than I thought it would be."

"Yeah," Roman whispered as he slowly lay back, hands cupped protectively over his crotch. "Yeah, it was."

"Tom's not into having his balls kicked, huh," Kendall said, watching Roman wipe himself off on his shirt and trying to will his erection away.

"Tom's Mr. Vanilla," Shiv said. "No threesomes, no bondage, no pegging—"

Kendall huffed out a laugh. "No pegging? Dude's missing out."

"So you do bend over for Naomi," Roman said, his voice still weak but recovering. "Tabitha told me but I didn't believe her. I thought you only bent over for Dad."

"Nothing shuts you up, does it?" Kendall said, shaking his head.

"Not for long." Roman stretched, groaning, and slowly stood up. "I gotta go wee-wee, assuming Shiv hasn't broken my wing-wang. Don't kill each other while I'm gone, okay? I don't want my room smelling like blood."


	3. we running this, let's go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kendall felt the pit of his stomach fall, the way it always did at any mention of Shiv's wedding. He took an involuntary step back.
> 
> Shiv followed him, predatory. "You can't get away from me," she said. "You can't get away from what you've done."

Roman vanished into the bathroom, leaving Shiv and Kendall to stand awkwardly and not quite look at each other.

"That was weird," Shiv said finally.

"Yeah," Kendall said. He felt a little shaky, as though the boat was shifting under them.

Shiv tilted her head. "Do you really let Naomi fuck you?"

"Are we really going to talk about this?"

Shiv looked pointedly at the couch, then back at him. "After that, you're gonna be squeamish?"

Kendall sighed, resigned. "Yeah, okay. Yes, Naomi got me into pegging and I like it. Why not? It feels good. Poppers and weed, you open right up, it's easy."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." He eyed her. "Why?"

"Because you owe me," Shiv murmured. She was suddenly standing very close to him, staring into his eyes, and he could smell a hint of woodsy spice on her skin, clashing with the vodka on her breath. "You fucked up my wedding, Ken. You fucked up the family and you fucked up the company that I'm going to have to pull out of a tailspin by the skin of my fucking teeth. You _owe_ me."

Kendall felt the pit of his stomach fall, the way it always did at any mention of Shiv's wedding. He took an involuntary step back.

Shiv followed him, predatory. "You can't get away from me," she said. "You can't get away from what you've done."

"I, I wasn't trying to get, I didn't," Kendall stammered. She didn't know, did she? She couldn't know. "You're, you're right, Shiv, I owe you. I'm sorry."

"I don't want your apologies," Shiv hissed. "I want to shove my hand-crafted silicone dick in your ass and fuck you until you cry."

Kendall closed his eyes. The thought of it was overwhelming. He couldn't help picturing them doing it right here, bent over Roman's couch—with Roman still on the couch, staring up at them, getting off on watching Kendall's humiliation and Shiv's violence—

"Yes," he said, hardly recognizing his own voice. "Yes. Okay. Uh, here?"

Shiv folded her arms. "Do I look like I'm wearing a fucking strap-on?"

"It's gotta be tonight," he said. "If you're not just fucking with me. Now or never. And we can't use your room or my room."

"You don't think Naomi would share you with me? The two of us passing you back and forth?"

The idea made his knees weak. "She, uh, might? Except for the part where you're, you know, my sister. She's pretty open-minded, but that might be, uh, a bridge too far." He swallowed. "And she's kind of pissed at me right now."

"That's too bad," Shiv said. "I was really looking forward to eating a girl out tonight. It's been a while."

"Why are you talking to me like this?" Kendall whispered. "It's fucked up, Shiv."

"Maybe because I'm drunk." She shrugged. "Maybe because I was supposed to have a hot threesome tonight and instead I got cockblocked by my husband. Maybe because you and Roman used to try to freak me out by talking dirty around me, and now you just do it without even thinking about it because it's a thing men get to do while women tolerate it, like Dad ranting about Mom being a frigid cunt while I had to sit there and listen because if I walked away I was weak. Maybe because I'm so fucking tired of you two getting everything while I get nothing, and now you even get sexy blond bisexual girlfriends who are down for the dirty while Tom thinks _naughty_ is a word grown adults say to each other." She regarded him coolly, an ice goddess, a knife. "I want my turn, Ken. I want what you have—what you were born with and what you were given. Not just a taste of it. All of it."

He turned away, unable to meet her eyes. "You deserve it all," he said.

"You're right, I do," Shiv said. "And we both know the only way I'm going to get it is by taking it from you."

Kendall's hands were shaking like he needed a fix. "Yeah, so I'll just, um, go and get, you know."

"Poppers and weed." Her lip twisted a little, and he couldn't tell whether she was sneering at him for wanting such low-rent drugs or for wanting any drugs at all.

"Yeah. I'll be back quick."

"And I'll get what I need and meet you back here."

"Won't Tom, uh, wonder—"

"Oh, Tom," Shiv said, utterly uninterested. "I could tell him I was going to fuck Lisa without him and he'd tell me to have a nice time and go back to reading the Loro Piana catalog. He'll just be glad I'm not trying to put it up _his_ ass. Beyond that, he doesn't care."

Kendall was pretty sure Tom cared a lot more than that, but it wasn't his problem to deal with. He was already drafting lines in his head for telling Naomi why he was coming in, digging through his stash, and leaving again. He didn't want to make it sound like it was a party she wasn't invited to. Maybe "Roman asked me for some"? They both knew Roman didn't touch coke, but a couple of joints would be plausible.

Roman emerged from the bathroom to see them heading for the door. "Don't I even get a kiss goodnight?" he asked.

"We'll be back," Shiv tossed over her shoulder. "And then I'm going to bend Kendall over your couch. You don't mind. Right?"

"Right," Roman said, eyes wide. "Christ, I've created a monster."

"We were all already monsters," Kendall said. "Back in five."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those wondering, Shiv is wearing [Ormonde Woman perfume](https://www.fragrantica.com/perfume/Ormonde-Jayne/Ormonde-Woman-4930.html). I think Tom would enjoy flaunting [this $7000 Loro Piana sweater](https://us.loropiana.com/en/p/Man/Knitwear/Girocollo-Fancy-FAI2498?colorCode=E025).


	4. I got my swim trunks and my flippy-floppies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The normal rules don't apply anymore, Ken. When you're fucking Roys, you need to watch your back while you think five moves ahead. Ask anyone who's ever fucked any of you and we'll all tell you the same."

Shiv walked slowly down the corridor, thinking about what to say to Tom. For all her bravado earlier, she suspected he probably wouldn't be sanguine about her whisking in, getting her cock out of the bedside table drawer, and whisking out again. And she'd never lied to his face about fucking someone else. Well... almost never. Not often. She didn't make a habit of it, anyway.

All her attempts to rehearse the conversation ran headlong into the wall of "I'm going to fuck my brother" and passed out cold. She reached her door and had no idea what was going to happen next. _Guess I'll wing it,_ she thought with a shrug. 

She unlocked the door and went in, calling, "Tom?"

He wasn't there. The bedroom was empty.

"Honey?" She peeked into the bathroom. Not there either. 

Absurdly, her first thought was that he had gone off to find Lisa without her. She felt a spasm of rage and jealousy—not of Lisa, who was a nobody, but of Tom, for getting to fuck the hot chick that Shiv was supposed to be fucking. Then she laughed at herself. He was probably in the bar having a drink, or out on the deck, or tying Greg's dick in knots. (When Tom was down, nothing made him feel better than picking on Greg. Shiv didn't really understand why he couldn't hire a cute PA and fuck her when he wanted to blow off steam, like every other exec she'd ever known, but she loved Tom for his quirky ways.) What mattered was that he wasn't there to ask her awkward questions.

She felt relieved, and then guilty about being relieved. It wasn't that she wanted to hide anything from her husband, of course. She prided herself on having honest conversations with him about hard topics. She just didn't want to upset him. He'd had a hard enough night.

She didn't want to be naked in front of her brothers, so she changed out of her pantsuit into a white sleeveless crop top and a pair of rust-red palazzos. She put on more deodorant, brushed her teeth, and checked her makeup. She dropped her earrings on the bedside table so she wouldn't risk dropping one in Roman's room. For a brief, strange moment she wondered whether she should leave behind her wedding ring.

She took a breath, opened the drawer, and pulled out an elegant white leather case that looked like it should hold gold and diamond jewelry, or maybe a handgun.

Shiv opened it just to make sure her harness and all the supplies were in there, but of course they were, because Tom never fucking let her use it. _I should probably check the condoms aren't expired,_ she thought grimly. She snapped it shut and dropped it into her largest handbag, because it never hurt to be cautious, even for a ten-second walk down a corridor.

_I wonder what Kendall's telling Naomi,_ she thought as she pulled the door shut behind her. An image of Naomi pegging Kendall formed in her mind, and she felt her face grow warm. _I wonder what she'd say if he told her the truth._

* * *

Kendall gave a quick one-two knock and rattled his key a little in the lock, just to give Naomi a heads-up. She didn't like him coming in without knocking, but he thought she was probably in bed and didn't want to drag her out of it just to open the door for him.

Her suitcase, packed and zipped, stood by the door. She was lounging in an armchair by the window, reading her Kindle. The room was dark except for the standing lamp by her chair.

"Hey," he said.

"Hey." Naomi glanced up at him, her eyes shadowed. "You okay?"

"Yeah. I, uh, I ended up in Roman's room for a bit." _I talked dirty to him while he jerked off and then came when our sister stepped on his balls._ He still couldn't really believe it.

"Male bonding?" she said dryly.

"Not really. Shiv was there too. We... talked. Family stuff."

It was the wrong thing to say. Naomi hated being reminded of how much of an outsider she was here. "Uh-huh," she said coolly, turning back to her book.

"Do you mind if I...?" He waved at the light switch.

"Go ahead."

He turned on the light on his side of the bed and opened the drawer in the bedside table, rummaging. It took a minute to collect everything he wanted. He hesitated over the bottle of lube but decided to skip it. Shiv probably had her own preferred brand of pH-balanced lube with flecks of gold leaf.

"Before you ask," Naomi said, "I don't feel like getting high with you tonight."

Kendall winced. "It's, uh, for Roman, actually. He ran out of a couple of things." He unzipped his toiletry kit, dumped the contents out on the table, and dropped the poppers and joints into it.

Naomi looked up at the sound of the bottles clinking. "Is that amyl? Who's he fucking on the boat?" Her mouth quirked. "You?"

Kendall snorted. This he could be honest about. "No, I am not going to fuck Roman. Or get fucked by Roman."

"In your family you never know." Naomi put her Kindle down and stretched.

"That's right," Kendall said, smirking. "I'm gonna get high as balls, and then Shiv is going to fuck my ass while Roman jerks off all over us."

He expected her to laugh, but instead she studied him. "That's a pretty detailed scenario," she said. "Like you've thought about it a lot."

Kendall felt cold all over. The smirk fell off his face. "Jesus, Nay, it's just a joke."

"There's a thing Roman does," she said, "where he says something so outrageous you can't even believe it's coming out of his mouth, except I think all those things he says are true. Like this morning when he was talking about how if he was a bad boy Gerri would make him sleep at the foot of her bed."

"You think... Roman's fucking Gerri?" How had they even gotten on this topic?

"No, I don't think she lets him touch her, but they've definitely got something going on. I knew that all the way back when we were visiting Nan. Use your eyes, Ken." She was still staring at him like he was a butterfly pinned to a card. "What I'm saying is, just now, when you were talking about getting it on with Shiv and Roman, you sounded just like him. Like the truth was so outrageous you thought you could say it out loud and I would think it was a lie."

He opened his mouth and closed it again. Too much was happening in this conversation. Half his brain was still going back over all the times Roman had joked—joked?—about Gerri. _I jerked off in Gerri's bathroom last night. It was actually her idea._ He shook his head. "I don't... sorry, you just blew my mind with this Roman and Gerri thing."

She waved it off impatiently. "I only said it because I thought you already knew. That's not the point. The point is, are you about to go back to Roman's room for a hot Roy sibling threesome?"

Kendall swallowed, and didn't answer.

Naomi set her Kindle aside, gracefully unfolded herself from the chair, and walked over until they were almost nose to nose. Gently, she rested her hand on his cheek. "Your dad really fucked you guys up, didn't he," she said.

"I, ah, have to quibble with your use of the past tense there."

"Yeah, well." She shrugged. "Who am I to judge a bunch of fuck-ups. Is Shiv on the pill?"

"What?"

"Is Shiv. On the pill."

"How, how the fuck should I know?" His head was spinning.

"You'd better know before you stick your dick in her."

"Oh." It was easier to picture Gerri telling Roman to masturbate in her bathroom (_It's not as hot when you do it as when Gerri does it_, Jesus, Roman) than Shiv ever unlocking her cunt for him. "Yeah, no, I, uh, I really don't think that's happening, ever."

"Okay," Naomi said patiently, "but before you had whatever this conversation was about 'family stuff,' did you think she was going to fuck your ass while Roman jerked off on you?"

Kendall shivered all over like a fly-bitten horse. 

"The normal rules don't apply anymore, Ken. When you're fucking Roys, you need to watch your back while you think five moves ahead. Ask anyone who's ever fucked any of you and we'll all tell you the same." 

She patted his cheek, still so gentle. He couldn't deal with how gentle she was. Shiv had had him braced for violence, ready for it, ready to feed it into the furnace of his guilt and self-loathing. He understood how that worked. Naomi's kindness was far more devastating.

"Go play your little family games," she said. There was something about her voice, her face, that made him wonder whether maybe some of the Pierces played those games too. He wanted to know, and he didn't want to know. "Go take it up the ass from Shiv, let Roman give you a facial, maybe even get your dick wet. God knows all of you could use the stress relief. But Ken..."

"Yeah," he said hoarsely.

She held up three fingers, ticked them off. "Wrap up. Take a shower before you come to bed with me. And don't get caught."

"Okay." He nodded, finally looking her in the eye, finally accepting that this was happening, the conversation, the _hot Roy sibling threesome_, all of it. "Okay."

She gave him a little smile, the one he'd learned meant the knife of self-hatred had just twisted in her heart. Every addict had that knife. What mattered was not pushing it in deeper. So he kissed her tenderly, and zipped up his toiletry kit, and left before she could say that maybe next time she'd join in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear the next chapter will have a lot less talking and a lot more pegging. This one just got away from me.


End file.
